So I’ve become more motivated lately to write about my ACTUAL feelings, rather than what I’m not too afraid to put up for one of 1000000 reasons.
So here we go. Obama supporting gay marriage. At first I was numbly happy, cause that’s good. Then I realized it could possibly mean gay marriage. And that just made me feel so much. It’s like when Lincoln declared the slaves free. We’re not free yet, but we could be.
And that brings me to my second point. The thought of me, as a bisexual woman (still sounds so weird to say even after 8 years of saying it), being able to have a lovely wife if I chose so, is so liberating. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel. I’d personally rather marry a guy, since who honestly knows why, but if I really chose so, I could get married to a woman. If the law was in support of equality for all. I could have a family, a legal one, with all the rights and wedding rings and normalcy that I crave. And that means more to me than anything. I just see this house in my mind, and this homey kitchen, and a small but sweet woman that I love right there.
I know being gay always seems weird to people, because you have this notion from birth of “boy likes girl, girl likes boy” and nothing else. But what you feel is what you feel, and if it’s not harmful to anyone, go for it. I know so many people who are still closeted, and so many others, like myself, who are afraid of even the possibilities that it opens. But it IS your world and your life. If you’re not true to yourself, then what are you doing? Have your brain taken out and become a puppet. You’re already halfway there.
People really do get lost in culture, in fear of rejection, etc. Which does happen. When my brother came out, and before, there was severe backlash from some members of the family. But hiding who you are…. It just results in anxiety, depression, serious health problems, and way too much unhappiness for one life time. So I’ll encourage you to all step outside of your gay bounds a little bit. If you’re not gay, you have nowhere to go. If you are, you have nowhere to go but up. I think fear of something is worse than the actual thing itself.
And that brings me to my second point. The thought of me, as a bisexual woman (still sounds so weird to say even after 8 years of saying it), being able to have a lovely wife if I chose so, is so liberating. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel. I’d personally rather marry a guy, since who honestly knows why, but if I really chose so, I could get married to a woman. If the law was in support of equality for all. I could have a family, a legal one, with all the rights and wedding rings and normalcy that I crave. And that means more to me than anything. I just see this house in my mind, and this homey kitchen, and a small but sweet woman that I love right there.
I know being gay always seems weird to people, because you have this notion from birth of “boy likes girl, girl likes boy” and nothing else. But what you feel is what you feel, and if it’s not harmful to anyone, go for it. I know so many people who are still closeted, and so many others, like myself, who are afraid of even the possibilities that it opens. But it IS your world and your life. If you’re not true to yourself, then what are you doing? Have your brain taken out and become a puppet. You’re already halfway there.
People really do get lost in culture, in fear of rejection, etc. Which does happen. When my brother came out, and before, there was severe backlash from some members of the family. But hiding who you are…. It just results in anxiety, depression, serious health problems, and way too much unhappiness for one life time. So I’ll encourage you to all step outside of your gay bounds a little bit. If you’re not gay, you have nowhere to go. If you are, you have nowhere to go but up. I think fear of something is worse than the actual thing itself.
